Kids and bullying

Bullying happens in all schools although the schools attempt to eradicate this.

We get different types of bullying:

• Physical bullying: Taking someone’s lunch money, pushing, hitting, etc / Threatening someone with physical violence

• Emotional bullying: The moment teasing becomes constant and hurtful then it is classified as bullying / Spreading rumours / By gossiping but also using social media e.g. Facebook or Twitter, etc. / Alienating or shunning someone / Threatening someone

Why do kids bully other kids?

• Some kids choose a child who seems weaker/smaller/less confident than them to pick on as this makes them feel more in control/stronger/confident
• They think bullying will make them more popular and important
• Some kids bully as this is the behaviour they are subjected to at home and see this as ‘normal’

What effects does bullying have on a child?

• Crying
• Weight loss
• Disturbed sleeping patterns
• Child refusing to go to school: will make up psychosomatic illnesses e.g. my tummy hurts/my head hurts/I feel sick
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Poor self-esteem/self-worth
• The effects can be severe:  suicide / running away / school shooting
• Feels alone and alienated
• Marks at school may drop

Warning signs that your child is being bullied:

• A change in your child’s behaviour/attitude
• Anxiety
• Eating patterns vary
• Sleeping patterns vary
• Your child is not part-taking in tasks, that he previously found fun, anymore
• Starts avoiding certain situations e.g. the playground/going to the bathroom, etc.

What can I as a parent do to help?

• Praise your child for telling you about the bullying
• Stay calm!
• Contact your child’s teacher to make them aware of the problem.  If the bullying persists contact the principal.  If the situation doesn’t improve contact the bully’s parents to arrange a meeting at school
• If the bullying has had a dramatic effect on your child, take her to a play therapist to work through the feelings caused by being bullied

Tips to give your child:

• Act brave/walk away from the bully/ignore the bully
• Use the buddy-system  –  always walk with a friend
• Avoid the bully if possible
• Tell a teacher the moment the bullying takes place so that the bully can be disciplined
• Don’t get angry/cry in front of the bully. Bullies thrive on getting a reaction.  Rather hold in your anger/tears until you are alone or at home
• Tell someone you trust like a friend/mom. Talking about your feelings makes you feel better